My First Superhero Movie in Two Years

It’s been two years since I’ve seen a superhero movie. The shareholders passed the “No Tights” policy because the Hollywood machine started churning out Marvel and DC properties at a much higher rate, and left unchecked I would have devoured them all up. The policy works. I watch better films.

When Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse came out, people freaked. A shareholder mentioned that it was good enough to violate the No Tights edict. It seemed like I might be missing a culturally significant moment, so I put up the idea of a No-Tights exemption. The vote was a squeaker, and ultimately passed.

I saw it last week, and it was fine. I was entertained. The concept is fun, the animation is flawless and the king John Mulaney plays Peter Porker. It’s a 5-star superhero movie, a 4-star animated movie, and a solid 3-star movie-movie.

But instead of a face full of tears, or a lifted heart, or a better understanding of humanity itself, I walked out of the theater crunching numbers, and musing on the original reason I’d implemented the No Tights policy. Last year I watched 36 movies, and Hollywood released nine major superhero films. Without the rule, I could have (likely would have) watched every superhero movie, which would have comprised a quarter of the total of the films I watched. No single genre should be 25% of the movies I see!

After this brief affair with the Spider-Verse I’m more than happy to return to my No Tights policy*, which has already carved out exemptions for any movie that wins an Academy award (the uncontested marker of filmic excellence.)

*I did promise to re-visit the No Tights policy if the Spider-Man exemption passed as it indicates the shareholders are open to the idea of me seeing these films. And while I will post the vote, I hope it is rejected.