Last year I earned less than $20,000 and I’m on track to make even less this year. This precipitous drop in my income comes on the heels of a very difficult last few years for my highly skilled screenwriter partner (whose career was interrupted by the writer’s strike and the following slowdown in television development). It is past time for me to get a job.
There is an early scene in The Hudsucker Proxy when our hero, Norville Barnes, fresh out of Muncie College with his MBA, stares at the job board of the Nidus Employment Agency and is disheartened to see that every listing requires experience.
The timelessness of this scene is reflected in modern job listings:
- 15+ years of business experience
- Advanced degree
- 8+ years in the industry
- Prior experience in a similar role
- Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration, Operations Management, or related field. Advanced degrees are preferred.
This creates a feeling of being unqualified which then combines with the current state of the hiring market with stats like:
- 75% of resumes are rejected before they reach the hiring manager
- Only 5% of applicants actually get a face-to-face interview
- The average US job search takes 5 months
After applying for a dozen or so jobs, most of which don’t even provide a rejection letter, my own morale is low. But it’s more than just low morale. I’m struggling to feel like I have much value to provide at all.
I have 21 positions listed on my LinkedIn Profile, going all the way back to the Army in the late 90’s and as hard as I’ve tried to weave it all together into some kind of “career” there is a lot of randomness, entry-level fumbling, and general lack of cohesive growth.
Not included on that list is the first job I ever had working part-time at McDonald’s during high school in Alaska. I worked at a McDonald’s in Soldotna and also the McDonald’s in Sitka (which was still serving pizza at the time but closed last year). That job was one of the reasons I was excited to do the Hamburger Business Review podcast with Zach Rose. And in doing the podcast I returned to McDonald’s semi-regularly for the first time in years.
And then I thought, why not go back to where I started?
🗳️ Shareholder Vote: Apply for a job at McDonald’s.
Why McDonald’s?
McDonald’s is core to American business culture, and as we said repeatedly on Hamburger Business Review, there is nothing that McDonald’s doesn’t touch. Technology, toys, supply chains, public markets, green washing, and scandals have all been a part of the long history of McDonald’s. Last year the company celebrated a “homecoming” initiative to highlight that 1 in 8 Americans have worked at McDonald’s (including the current Vice President of the United States).
But most importantly I am pretty confident I can get hired at McDonald’s. Being in a state of unemployment for as long as I have, and feeling wildly disconnected from the world of the “professional managerial class”, I just need a win (and a regular paycheck).
Barbara Ehrenreich, the journalist and author, wrote in her 2001 book ‘Nickel and Dimed’ that low-wage manual labor (she worked ‘undercover’ for the book) requires highly demanding feats of stamina, focus, memory, quick thinking, and fast learning. I believe I have these traits, and while I’m sure the work is grueling McDonald’s says on their website that “Anybody with the right attitude and a commitment to providing the best in customer service is welcome to apply for a position at McDonald’s. We welcome candidates from all backgrounds and there are no minimum qualifications needed to join McDonald’s.”
How Does This Work?
While there is no guarantee that I can actually get a job, this proposal is to apply and if hired, work at a McDonald’s restaurant. This will prove to myself that McDonald’s, one of the most powerful companies in the world, deems me worthy of some sort of value. Will this result in raising my workplace confidence? Will I be satisfied working minimum wage at a fast food restaurant? Will I get along with my co-workers, with my shift supervisor, with my manager? Will I make friends?
And while a McJob might solve the immediate problem of unemployment, what new problems will arise? How can I leverage this into the next thing? Can I become a shift supervisor? A store manager? A franchise owner? (no, that costs millions of dollars.)
What will be the impact on my relationship? Kathryn will be happy I have a job, but this job?
How will working at McDonald’s impact my share price? Will my price correlate to the ups and downs of McDonald’s? Should I spend some of my minimum wage earnings on shares of McDonald’s? Can I utilize the benefits to take college courses or maybe attend Hamburger University?
Will this be the launch of a second season of Hamburger Business Review?
I’m tired of earning no money. I don’t want to feel like I’m financially useless. I’m sick of sending out resumes and cover letters and hearing nothing back. I just want to work and be paid a little money. I’m humble enough to return to my roots and take an entry level job at McDonald’s. More than just humble enough, I’m kind of excited about it, even though I think it’s probably a demanding and harsh job based what r/McDonaldsEmployees folks are saying.
So vote yes, and let’s see what happens when the publicly traded person trades his Brooks Brothers for a polyester blend McDonald’s polo. And maybe I’ll pick up the Alumni Jacket for $185 before it’s sold out again.